I probably know you. If you’re reading this and we’re close, there may be a mention or two of you in here. If there isn’t, know that there are hundreds of entries that did not make it to this collection. There are also times when I’ve had to cut people out of my life to protect myself. Whoever you are, you should know that I never stopped loving you. Once someone is in my heart, I never give you up, not entirely.
If I do not know you, I hope this memoir serves as a roadmap for you, so that you can find your way through life a little easier than I did. Unfortunately, life seems to be getting more complex and dramatic as capitalism progresses its long march of destruction upon our Earth. What else can we do but survive, and hope for a better day tomorrow?
In retrospect, I likely have hypergraphia. I don’t think there are too many people who journal continuously, as I did. Pulling this book together was a tremendous effort of self-love and acceptance. Journaling has always gifted this insight to me, and remains my single most powerful tool for introspection and growth, apart from music. It was rewarding to edit this collection, as it has always been rewarding to gaze at my own navel for awhile. I also highly recommend meditation and reconnecting with your community through deliberate gifts of time.
If I did nothing else in my life, at least I was honest. This memoir is an attempt to capture a healthy big slice of my life: my trauma, joys, and random moments. Know that some of the opinions expressed in here are ones I no longer hold, but I felt it was important to include them anyway. I want to show people my struggles to help with processing their own. I will not censor myself for anyone. That is a fundamental human right for all, everywhere and always.
If you are hurt by the contents of this memoir, know that I love you. I do not mean to hurt you with my words, but to omit anything from this memoir would be a complete betrayal of myself. Please do your best to keep your grief, distress, anger, or any other bad vibes off my survivors. They do not deserve to be soaked by your emotional wake. I am very guilty of this in my life, and for that I am sorry. It has been my life’s lesson to learn how to pick my battles, and then to deprogram myself from societal norms and expectations. I hope that you accept this emotional challenge with me, and work with a LCSW, LPC, MD, NP, spiritual leader, or favorite healer to speed your journey and growth.
With no irony, namaste.
My life’s motto: Have Fun, Hurt None.
This memoir is dedicated to my ride and die, Sam. Every good adventurer needs a Sam, and I am convinced I have the very best one.